Top Ten List

A few days ago, I posted an article showcasing advancements in robotic limb replacements. In posting the article, I started to think about other cool movie characters that have made me wish I was in their place so I could don some sort of futuristic body part that would make me look awesome. Sure, there is always a sacrifice when replacing flesh and bone for metal and hydraulics, but who will honestly care when you can flip a car over with one hand or deflect bullets with the raising of your forearm.

To be specific, this list focuses on characters that were born human, and somewhere along the line, had prosthetic added to their body to replace another body part. Therefore, all comments are invalid from trolls saying that I forgot Arnold from The Terminator, or the replicants from Blade Runner, ect.

10. TIE: Det. Del Spooner – I, Robot / Lt. Parker Barnes – Virtuosity

Denzel Washington Will Smith

On The List Because: Both Detective Spooner and Lt. Barnes are very different characters, in different times, with different enemies, but one thing they share in common is one awesome prosthetic arm that is virtually undetectable to the untrained eye. That is, until both characters use their arm to defend themselves which then exposes all the cool machinery under the fake skin.  Because of their prosthetic similarities, it was hard to say which one is cooler than another. Spooner could win simply because the CG effects to show his prosthetic limb on film was better when I, Robot was made, but Lt. Barnes uses his arm for a more noble cause in Viruosity so therefore they both TIE at the 10 spot.

9. Dr. Octopus – Spider-Man 2

Dr. Octopus Spider-Man 2

On The List Because: When word first hit that Dr. Octopus would be the main villain in Spider-Man 2, I was severely displeased. I HATED Dr. Octopus. I thought he was the lamest and worst looking villain in the Spider-Man universe. The reason Dr. Octopus makes the list, however, is because his movie counterpart was the complete opposite. Dr. Octopus in the movie was cool looking, kicked lots of ass, and had the coolest fights with Spidey in the entire Spider-Man movie franchise so far. The movie version of Dr. Octopus makes it ok that it took 42 years for a lame comic book villain to make a totally badass transition to the big screen.

8. Marcus Wright – Terminator: Salvation

Marcus Wright Terminator: Salvation

On The List Because: As I stated above, Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t able to make this list because his Terminator character was never technically a human. Sure, he may look like one, and eventually learned what it means to be a human, but in the end he still wasn’t human.

However,  Marcus Wright in Terminator: Salvation WAS a human who donated his body to Cyberdyne Systems for experimentation. Cyberdyne uses Marcus’ body in the Project Angel to create a mix of machine and man which would allow the former human to live a much longer life. Marcus’ new body is an endoskeleton closely resembling a T-800, but with both his human heart and brain wired into the endoskeleton. Thus leaving his humanity intact.

Marcus is the coolest Terminator to hit the screen yet, putting the soul into the machine with an interesting back story and a noble destiny ahead of him.

7. Jet – Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

Jet Black Cowboy Bebop

On The List Because: Some would argue that Spike Spiegel is the coolest character on Cowboy Bebop. I cannot argue that, being a Spike fan myself. And while Spike does carry an artificial eye, it’s not nearly as cool as Jet’s cybernetic arm.

Jet lost his arm during his cop years after he was set up on the job and his arm was shot off. Jet’s new arm seems to suite him just fine. He uses his cybernetic arm to take out bounty heads across the universe and steer his ship “the bebop” towards wherever the next bounty lies.

Jet never appears to use his arm in any super human way, but it’s the arms aesthetic appeal that is the icing on the cake of badass-ness that is Jet Black.

6. Darth Vader – Star Wars

Darth Vader Star Wars

On The List Because: It’s Darth Vader… seriously, do you need an explanation? With the curl of his cybernetic hand he could force your mother to make him blueberry pancakes at 3am in the morning.

Darth is the very image of evil in science fiction. His crazy ass getup and constant asthma attack strikes fear into all those around him.

The origins of the character are worth noting. In a metaphor of sorts, his former self (Anakin) dies a powerful Jedi and is reborn into the Dark Side as a half man, half machine, 100% ruthless.

Darth Vader is the ultimate space badass.

5. Chev Chelios – Crank 2

Chev Chelios Crank 2

On The List Because: Most of the characters on this list have robotic replacement parts that give them an advantage in one form or another. This is not the case for Chev Chelios in Crank 2. After surviving Crank 1, the Chinese mafia steal his super human heart and replace it with an artificial heart that was not built to be a long term replacement. In a race against time and battery life, Chev must find the bastards who took his real heart while pushing his current artificial heart beyond its limits. Chev kicks ass and takes names all while surviving on surges of electricity that he can feed to his new heart. This alone makes Chev the ultimate badass.

4. Tony Stark – Iron Man

Tony Stark Iron Man

On The List Because: When I talk about Tony Stark and robotic replacement body parts, I am not speaking of his Iron Man armor. I am talking about the arc reactor that doubles as an electromagnet, keeping the shrapnel inside his body from reaching his heart and powering his Iron Man armor.

The mini arc reactor that Tony embeds in his chest is like an emblem for his reborn self; a metaphor for Tony’s transition into the Iron Man and the light inside that guides him to stand for justice, as well as the heart of the Iron Man.

It should be noted that Tony’s mini arc reactor is not in fact a prosthetic replacement. While it does act as a cover for a giant chunk of flesh missing from his chest, I would not consider it a prosthetic replacement. BUT here is the loop hole (that works in my head): The arc reactor is the base in which the Iron Man armor draws power from, there for it is the link that binds Tony to an entire body of prosthetic body parts that are not actually attached to his body permanently. Ha!

Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark + Iron Man on the silver screen = BADASS!

3. Major Motoko Kusanagi – Ghost In The Shell

Major Ghost In The Shell

On The List Because: Oftentimes in a movie, when a male character comes across a female that has demonstrated she is not to be fucked with, the male will say something along the lines of “I dig a girl that can kick my ass.” Such is the case with Major Kusanagi from Ghost In The Shell.

The Major works through a complete prosthetic body with her mind housed inside a brain case of sorts inside her prosthetic skull.

What is unique about the Major is that she chooses to work in a prosthetic body that is both deadly in sex appeal and in combat. With her prosthetic body, the Major is able to control every ounce of her body, unlike the more generic prosthetic bodies used by majority of the human population in the Ghost In The Shell universe.

The Major’s no nonsense attitude and peak combat skills aided by her prosthetic body make a dangerous mix of badass-ness.

2. Ash – Evil Dead 2 / Army of Darkness

Ash Evil Dead Amry Of Darkness

On The List Because: Ash’s robotic replacement hand is the most barbaric and least technologically advanced of all the replacement body parts on this list, and that’s the appeal of it.

Donning both a chainsaw attached to his nub of a wrist after cutting off his possessed hand, and later creating a steam punk of sorts metal hand with superior crushing power (never utilized after a demonstration).

The most iconic of Ash’s replacement hands is by far the chainsaw. The chainsaw itself must have super powers as it can cut through flesh and bone with ease and never runs out of gas.

Add all that together with Bruce Cambell’s unique charm and “boom-stick,” and you have yourself the most badass hero to ever recite the words Klaatu Verada Necktie…Nectar…Nickel….errr… whatever.

1. Robocop

Robocop

On The List Because: Taking our No. 1 spot is none other than Robocop himself. As always with No. 1 spots, many will probably disagree and comment on why it’s a bad No.1 choice or why their favorite character should be No. 1. That’s fine. But I choose Robocop because, to me, he is the iconic definition of what a cyborg is. A human who is transformed into machine, yet retains some trace elements of his former self. When Robocop came out, I was so amazed with the concept of what he was and his appearance.

Out of this entire list, Robocop is the least human of candidates, but he still retains his face and fragments of his soul. So to me, he is still somewhat human. What used to be a complicated man is now transformed into a machine that focuses on a single mission that is powered by remnants of his former self.

That concept alone, to me, makes Robocop the most interesting character on this list, and his space aged appearance and technology, along with the gun slinger action, makes Robocop the most badass character on this list.

Honorable Mention

Robot Nixon – Futurama

Robot Nixon Futurama

Badass,  But Not On The List Because: Robot Nixon in his ultimate form only makes an appearance at the very end of an episode. While his appearance is the deffinition of epic, it was to small, and alas TV only so it did not qualifiy to for the top 10 list.

But don’t tell Robot Nixon! He will be very displeased …

Related Post

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About this post's author, Rob Heath.
Rob is the senior editor and general admin of Movie Crematorium. His top notch kung fu skillz are only out matched by his passion for community development and graphic / web design. He keeps his 1st gen Charizard pokemon card on him at all times. Thus granting him immortality.

  • ChrisN
    Darth Vader should be #1. The fact that you have Chev at 4 is disturbing. He's DARTH FUCKING VADER
  • You're missing Al from Fullmetal Alchemist! Metal Arm AND Leg, definitely beats out Jet.
  • I thought about putting Al in, but he kiddie demeanor denies his ability to land on the list with the rest of badasses.
  • I actually thought of both of them while creating this list. But alas they had to be Bad ass.

    While Cherry's leg gun was cool, her constant bitching kept me from liking her as a character. Bad asses don't moan about their life, they just kick ass.

    I wanted to do Tetsuo, but his arm was more of an extension of his power, and not so much actual machinery moving. So that was my reason for not including him.

    Machine Girl was another possibility, but like Cherry, she does more things that annoy me in the movie that keep her from making the list.
  • Veronica R.
    oh and that chick from grindhouse! the one with a gun for a leg!
  • Veronica R.
    awesome! but what about tetsuo from Akira? His arm gets severed and he assembles one from random junk using his powers. Although it probably wouldn't be that awesome since, if i remember correctly, his fake arm exploded and consumed him....
blog comments powered by Disqus
Follow Us!

Twitter Twitter | Feed Burner RSS Feed | Twitter Facebook

Latest Videos

Loading
Loading Viddler Videos

    Opening: March 5th – 7th

    Nation Wide

    Alice in Wonderland
    Brooklyn's Finest

    Limited Release

    The Secret of Kells

    Box Office: Feb 26th – 28th

    1.Shutter Island - $22.7M

    2.Cop Out - $18.2M

    3.The Crazies - $16.1M

    4.Avatar - $13.7M

    5.Percy Jackson - $9.6M

    Featured Movie Feeds

    The Last Airbender

    Kick-Ass

    Clash of the Titans

    Iron Man 2

    Inception

    Tron Legacy

    Our Lovely Editors

    Rob Heath

    Senior Editor

    Veronica Rios

    DVD Releases & News Editor

    Evan West

    Media Editor


    Connect & Represent